What is Joy?

After observing all the strain and stress of this stage in the global pandemic, I decided my end-of-year focus is going to be all about how to create something positive, even when life is uncertain or hard. As you look back over the past 12 to 24 months, can you note many moments of joy? Or have you been operating in a joy deficit while in survival mode – during either an endurance or exhaustion stage of stress? If so, read on for my thoughts on the what and how of developing a personal joy-list.

Those familiar with the work of Marie Kondo might know the question “does that spark joy?” This being a guide for deciding if a material possession supports an environment that makes you feel content, or not. This year I ask you to reflect on whether you are sparking any joy in your life, or, if this is an area you might like to focus on, as you hit a reset and revive opportunity with the end of a year and start of a fresh one. 

Joy is considered a positive emotion and is all about the experience of “pleasure and delight.” For many of us in the last year or two, less enjoyable emotions have understandably been heightened with recurrent threat, fear, anxiety, and – potentially - conflict occurring through the stages of the pandemic.

At times like this - more than ever- we need to actively counter our unsettling global circumstances with small steps to find joy. This can offset our stress response by promoting mood-enhancing brain messengers like endorphins, oxytocin, GABA and serotonin, and may help keep other potentially depleting chemicals in balance – such as cortisol and dopamine. Ultimately, joy can help keep you grounded and connected, help your nervous system to return to balance, and can give life meaning and satisfaction.

Joy can be experienced in many ways, it can feel intense or mild and it can be mixed with other emotions – such as feeling both joy and sorrow simultaneously. What sparks joy for one person may not be the same for another and some people may report that they don’t notice feeling any joy at all.

Under certain conditions, despite doing things that might ordinarily spark joy, the emotion won’t follow. This could happen when feeling depressed, traumatised or during burnout and may reflect the need to meet other needs first – especially the need to be safe in your environment.  If this is you and things haven’t got better over time then talking to a professional can be advisable.

Interestingly, there has been very little work in psychology on joy as an emotion. This is quite remarkable considering how much research has been done on joy’s opposite – depressed mood. Perhaps we focus so much on our uncomfortable feelings sometimes that it comes at the expense of understanding and promoting the potential antidotes.

A 2020 review on joy in the Journal of Positive Psychology (Johnson, 2020) provided a variety of definitions and ideas about joy. The one I liked the most was that joy is a kind of “spiritual fruit.” This kind of nutrition nourishes something within us beyond our basic human needs and helps with feelings of transcendence, serenity, freedom and in our lifelong pursuit of self-discovery.  They also described joy as a positive effect where one feels free, safe and at ease. We could all do with a piece of that right now!

“Joy is a kind of spiritual fruit”

I’m professionally and personally very interested in this type of life-enhancing joy that we can actively create for ourselves as part of a rich and meaningful life.  And something I’ve been thinking about in my research and self-experiments on joy recently, is how perhaps certain amounts of suffering may be necessary (or at least often precede) the type of growth required to feel joy more fully. This idea relates to post-traumatic growth – where from adverse experiences we can find new meaning or direction for our lives.  

Cultivating Joy

The following includes a smorgasbord of options to experiment with to find what uniquely brings you joy. Feel free to add your own and to discard those that don’t fit for you. Here are 5 areas to consider although there are endless other options.

 1)   Use your Senses to Cultivate Joy 

Art

Take yourself on what Julia Cameron calls an “artist's date” to look at drawings, paintings, sculptures, places that nourish your creative energy (Cameron, 2016). Through these images you may open yourself to insight, inspiration, and guidance.  Julia says that the aim is to refresh your artistic reservoirs by feeding the sensory brain. Focus your attention on what you can see and different elements in the art, notice how you feel emotionally and energetically looking at different types of art.

Grounding

• Use your body to come to the present moment, take your shoes off and walk on different surfaces, get your feet into the sand and ocean, walk on grass.

• Feel the wind or rain on your face, touch leaves and bark and really notice what they feel like.

• Notice the things around you in your environment like the scent of a forest or flowers, watch the sunset, gaze at the moon and stars.

• Listen to the sound of birdsong, the ocean waves, or the wind in the trees.

• Taste the flavours in a warm or cold drink, savour the texture of dark chocolate melting in your mouth.

Move

What kind of movement feels good to your body? Do you like to run, swim, to walk up hills, to lift heavy things, to stretch through yoga, Pilates, or slow and restorative movements like tai chi?

Do you enjoy the accomplishment of moving your body for a purpose to get somewhere? Or moving as part of a group in a group fitness? Or do you like to move in solitude, with an online instructor like the infamous Yoga with Adrienne. Do you like to dance alone or with a partner or to move alongside someone on a bike?

Music/sounds

Play favourite old albums associated with pleasant memories or test out new types of music to stimulate your senses. Try a variety of genres including slower and faster beats and music with and without lyrics. Consider making some music yourself and moving to the rhythm. 

2)   Finding Joy Through Nature

Contact with blue(water)/green(plants) spaces is associated with feelings of awe and a sense that there is something bigger than you. This was termed an “oceanic experience” by Sigmund Freud. One effective way to offset anxiety and depression is to visit beaches, lakes, rivers and parks or go on forest walks. Lesser but still effective methods are to have access to a view of nature where possible as well as indirect or more fleeting contact with nature (e.g., walking through a green space on your way to work). Even having pictures or photos of nature on your wall has been found to help with stress and mood!

3)   What type of Connection Brings you Joy?

Through close relationships we release oxytocin which supports bonding and attachment as well as feelings of wellbeing and security. Attachments can be thought of as a source of energy, and this can be nurtured or drained depending on the quality of our relationships.

Connecting can nurture joyful energy when you feel safe, heard, and valued. Here are 3 ways to nurture connection:

• Make appropriate eye contact – whether it’s with a stranger passing by you on the street or your deepest relationship, eye contact can convey trust and safety (note there can be cultural differences on this).

• Use your smile – a genuine smile that reaches all the way up to your eyes can provide a moment of connection and is a free gift you can give to others (even if your mouth is covered). Smiling also feeds back happiness to your brain so it can help you to feel better in turn. You may never know the ripple effect of a kind smile on a passerby.

• In your relationships, you can practice two related skills to deepen connection – 1) listening and 2) presence. As someone is talking to you, do you really hear what they are saying (and what they might be saying with their body language)? Can you be curious and ask questions to learn more about what they are experiencing? Hold back on giving advice. Through being fully present and just listening you enable someone to feel seen and heard and cared about - and is often the only solution someone is in search of. This type of deeper connection is likely to help with feeling less alone and more loved instead of the rushed, disconnected, superficial and device-distracted conversations that we are at risk of in modern life.

4)  Play Like You Did as a Child

In childhood, we naturally know how to play but we can lose this ability in the seriousness of adult roles and responsibilities. The main forms of fun or relaxation can become those we source from our devices or in a bottle.

Real play enables fun and relaxation through imagination and creativity. The first step towards being able to play may be giving yourself permission and being prepared to tolerate the discomfort or awkwardness that may come initially.

Some of the ways that you might experiment with play can include drawing or painting, taking up an instrument you have played previously or one you are interested in starting, engaging in group sports or games/quizzes, playing with the children or pets in your life (if you or friends have them), and through laughter.

If you feel stuck, perhaps reflect back to what you were like as a child and what you enjoyed then to get some ideas. For example, did you climb trees, observe insects and birdlife, explore your environment, chase balls, do cartwheels? Can you tap into the inherent playful energy you might have once had. If this hasn’t been your experience of childhood, that’s ok too and testing out ideas to elicit play and joy now are still possible.

5)   Change Things Up - Novelty 

In her TED talk (that has been viewed over 18 million times!) psychotherapist Esther Perel beautifully describes our fundamental human needs for “adventure, for novelty, for mystery, for risk, for danger, for the unknown, for the unexpected, for surprise...for journey, for travel.”  

In our busy adult lives, we can fall into the rut of routine and lack novelty. But novelty is a vital part of any healthy relationship with yourself or a partner. There are many ways to explore new things with the key being to try things that are different – tastes/foods, experiences, places, people, music, and natural environments. Explore new scenic routes to try, new coffee shops, new run or walk treks, new types of physical movement, new authors, and new scents, hairstyles or clothing. Any of these may stimulate autonomy, freshness and joy. Create some mystery through planning special experiences for others that are novel and indulge the extra joy of doing something for someone else. Find what works for you.

“A joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together”.

Brené Brown

The Interconnectedness of Joy, Gratitude & Wellbeing

Experiences of joy and being able to feel gratitude – focusing on the blessings in your life – are interconnected and impact on your wellbeing.

When there are things we are unhappy about we can tend towards rumination or worry. Rumination means mentally reviewing the bad things in life that have happened and worry is more future-focused, anticipating the bad things that might happen. Gratitude means shifting your focus onto some of the things you are happy about right now - and taking a moment to acknowledge and be thankful for them. It can be as simple as noticing that the weather is warm and sunny today and soaking in the feeling before getting on with the next thing in your day. It can also be a regular ritual - such as journaling 3 things you were grateful for that day before you wind down to go to sleep.

If you realise that you have lost joy in your life as we hit this last dash to the finish line of 2021, the coming Summer provides a great opportunity to re-find joy. I encourage you to continue to practice the things that may have brought you joy in the past and to experiment with new ideas that have potential appeal. Make sure at least some of your experimenting is done outside in nature or with someone else for added benefits. It may take time, patience and repeated exposure to doing these things to start to enjoy the experiences and to create a smorgasbord of options that you can reliably turn to for an injection of joy.

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References

Cameron, J. (2016). The Artists Way. A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. Random House: New York.

Johnson, M. K. (2020). Joy: A review of the literature and suggestions for future directions. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 15(1), 5-24. DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2019.1685581

Watkins, P. C., Emmons, R. A., Greaves, M. R., & Bell, J. (2018). Joy is a distinct positive emotion: Assessment of joy and relationship to gratitude and well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 13(5), 522-539. DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2017.1414298